Karen March Counselling & Therapy Services

KAREN MARCH
M.Soc.Sc.(Counselling),
MACA(Professional)

Home

About the sessions

For Individuals

For Relationships

Counselling Methods & FAQ's

Counselling Blog page

Contact

LOOKING DOWN THE VORTEX Copyright Karen March

The comfort zone is often portrayed by self-development gurus as the condition that holds us back, that prevents us from finding our true potential, and as a state we need to escape from. Perhaps rather than believing we need to desert our comfort zone and mire ourselves in risk, we should simply view change as the formation of a new comfort zone. Does not the new behaviour become part of an improved one?

A simple example may help to illustrate what this means.

A man walks the same way to work every day. He knows exactly how long it will take him. He knows all the houses, the streets he will cross, the people he will meet along the way and the environment that he will pass through. It's predictable and safe. However, he complains that it's uninteresting, noisy and by the time he gets to work, he's already feeling stressed.

His wife suggests trying to take a different route for a change. He is reluctant and thinks of various reasons why he shouldn't deviate from his normal course.

One morning after checking alternative streets on his phone, he decides to give it a go.

He's intrigued by how interesting the new route is; different houses and gardens, a tree-lined park he'd never seen before, a morning greeting from someone he'd never met, and surprisingly less traffic noise. By the time he got to work he felt invigorated and ready to start his day.

While at first, the idea of changing his route to work seemed unnecessary and maybe even problematic, he found he actually preferred the new route to his old one. In time, the new routine became part of his comfort zone, a new and revised one.

In this example, the man's old, habitual routine was not enriching his working day. In fact it was having the opposite effect, yet he was loath to change.

We human beings are naturally wired to find a comfort zone in a bid to minimize unexpected events and help us predict and avoid that which causes stress, anxiety and danger. In other words, it's a survival strategy.

It's not surprising then, that once we find our comfort zone we may be reluctant to leave it, even when our habitual patterns are not making us happy.

How do we know when we need to change our comfort zone?

The following signs might be a clue:

You have a sense that you are not happy or fulfilled and are not sure why. Everything looks alright on the surface but deep down you have a vague sense that there is something missing, that there is something more out there, or that this can't be all there is

You are not sure of your own potential. You may wonder what you could achieve but as yet have not tested it. There may be a lack of confidence, self-doubt and negative self-talk

You feel stagnant, as if you've stopped learning and growing. Many things you already know no longer hold much interest for you and you feel as if you've hit a wall or the future looks unappealing

You realise that you haven't done anything new for some time. There is a lack of spontaneity, surprises are few and far between and it seems not much enriches your life

You are not meeting new people or having new conversations

You avoid committing to doing something new because it seems "risky". When a new opportunity presents itself your first reaction is full of negative "what ifs". You think of more reasons not to try it than to give it a go. You procrastinate making change or put off doing something because somehow the time is never right

Your responses to change are littered with words like "can't", "won't" "if" and "when". Your words profoundly reinforce your comfort zone behaviour as they do not permit you to consider a new idea or challenge

The first critical step to venturing out of your present comfort zone is recognising the need.

The next step is encouraging yourself to act.

Part Two of this article next month will look at practical ways to broaden and cultivate your new comfort zone.

Karen March Aldinga Medical Surgery 17 Old Coach Road, Aldinga SA 5173
Mobile: 0409169115 Email: karmar@chariot.net.au

ABN 51440 722 091