Karen March Counselling & Therapy Services

KAREN MARCH
M.Soc.Sc.(Counselling),
MACA(Professional)

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What colour glasses do you see the world through?
Part 1

Your thoughts are the lens through which you determine your view of the world. These perceptions can be weighted toward the positive or the negative, depending on your understanding, past experience and choice of interpretation.

Your genetic make-up and your environmental surroundings undoubtedly play a large part in the nature of your thinking, but that does not mean to assume that you are victim to them.

Ultimately, you DO have a choice about which thoughts you want to pay attention to. You also have a choice to question your own assumptions rather than allowing them to control and consume you.

Thinking not only involves the words that you say and think. It also includes visualisations, self-talk and metaphors, as well as, mentally replaying memories .

Negative thinking generally involves thinking about what we do not want, while positive thinking usually focuses on what we do want. When put so simply, we could ask ourselves why it is then that we spend so much time concerning ourselves with what we do not want, when we could choose to shift our energies to deciding what we do want in life and how to make it possible.

Your thinking patterns are often developed from childhood and therefore habitual, so you may not be entirely aware of these patterns, or the detrimental effect they may be having on your life.

Ultimately, negative thinking can adversely affect every facet of your life; your personal happiness, your relationships and friendships, your decisions, your resilience, your sense of meaning, your work, and your physical and mental health.

So how do you know if you have unhelpful or self-sabotaging thinking patterns? Here are a few common patterns that, on reflection, you may recognise frequently in your default thinking. These negative patterns are commonly referred to as Cognitive Distortions.

All-or-Nothing thinking

This describes very polarised thinking and perception. It's black and white thinking, in extremes.

An example is, when someone who has not done as well as they expected at something, consequently considers themselves a complete "failure", not just with the task attempted but with everything.

The belief is "I must always succeed". The spectrum has " I must be perfect" at one end and , "I am a failure" at the other end, and there are no shades of possible grey in between.

Overgeneralisation

Inaccurately believing that one bad experience means future similar scenarios will always turn out the same. This thinking often relates to feelings around personal efficacy and capability, relationships, or personal challenges.

For example, "My last two relationships have not lasted and therefore I am no good at relationships"

Catastrophising

Literally blowing an unpleasant event or experience out of proportion, or magnifying your perceived imperfections or fears.

An example could be, not wanting to attend a function on your own because you believe everybody will be lookig at you and thinking you're odd for coming on your own. The truth is more likely to be that no-one will probably think much of it at all and will probably be more interested in talking to you as an individual.

Emotional Reasoning

Where you believe your emotional reaction actually represents the truth of a situation.

An example could be, "That event made me feel very stressed and anxious, which means that my situation must be dire and impossible to overcome."

Should statements

With most of my clients who are struggling with negativity, I hear the word "should" spattered throughout their sentences.

"I shouldn't still be feeling sad"
"I should've achieved more in my life"
"I should take better care of myself"
"I should've seen that coming"

"Should" statements are usually made by people who have as yet taken no action, and perhaps have no idea how to tackle the problem or change the status quo.

Rumination

While Reflection is a very helpful and necessary part of processing our experiences, Rumination tends to get people stuck on a negative, never-ending cycle. Thinking that ruminates is excessive and repetitive.

A sign of Rumination can be that you continually think about the same problem. Your description and perspective of the problem never changes and you have not taken any action to deal with it. The same feelings of anger, resentment or sadness are reignited each time as well.

Overthinking

Weighing up the pros and cons is an important part of making sound decisions. However, if you find that you are procrastinating making a decision because you are trying to cover every possible thing, real or imagined, that could go wrong, then you are more than likely overthinking the decision.

Nothing is fool-proof and we cannot control future events with 100% accuracy. That's life. Instead your overthinking means your are inactive, and your fear may mean you miss an amazing opportunity that could enrich your life.

If you have seen any of these thinking patterns in yourself, you may be interested to read Part 2 in a month or so, for some strategies to deal with negative thinking.

You don't need to wear rose-coloured glasses but perhaps there's a lighter colour that will enable you to see the bigger picture.

Karen March Aldinga Medical Surgery 17 Old Coach Road, Aldinga SA 5173
Mobile: 0409169115 Email: karmar@chariot.net.au

ABN 51440 722 091